Two years ago, I knew I already found someone who is etched in my soul as partner. I am convinced I found him. I pray for him. It might sound foolish for many, but for me, the Creator has granted it. However, the story is against all odds angle. I was born where my religion is inherent at birth, whilst he was a Muslim convert. Islam sees people equal in front of Him. We just differ on who is righteous or not. Everyone who turns his head down in front of Him 5x a day, worships Him, speak and act in Islamic ways irregardless of her/his colour, race, background, and past, he/she is a Muslim for Allah.
A BIG BIG BUT in our traditional practices. The family background and reputation is very much important when you want to get married. The person must be a Muslim since birth, because a Muslim convert in our culture is someone that is not really accepted if choosen by a woman to get married with. This is where the odds come in into our relationship.
For some, I may look like really stubborn or a child who disobeys her parents. He is ready to face my parents and clan, but they are totally against it. But did I really committed a sin based in Holy Qur’an and what Allah has ordained? What is most important, to follow your heart as long as you don’t break religious rules? Or, forget everything, suppressed, and tortured your feelings for the sake of family reputation and traditional practices?
7 responses so far ↓
Rina // February 18, 2008 at 11:22 am |
Hey Baikong,
This is a very interesting topic. I, my self is experiencing almost the same thing like you.
Only for me, I choose my family over anyone else in the world. Getting married is not just between the guy and I but it’s more about my family towards his family.
The way I look at love is more a companionship rather than lust and passion. I always try to think rationally at first and not just instantly follow my heart.
Nonetheless, if you think that this guy is right for you, then just try hard to make the realationship work and leave it to Allah SWT for the result.
Just remember, trying hard means that you have to try various way of communicating and ‘brain-washing’ your family’ about the guy.
Making changes are not easy and will never be one.
Good Luck!
Baikong Mamid // February 18, 2008 at 7:09 pm |
Hi Rina!
I thank you for the comment. Most of the time, it feels good to listen to somebody and finds out that you have they same experience. It reminds you that you are not alone in this world. I am impressed with your decision. I also agree that a family is very important. But there are times we have to make a win-win decision and approach if its applicable. First, I am not rushing up things. Second, I will be doing the brainwashing strategy to win the votes in my family. Third, Allah is there to help me thus, things are possible. And fourth, that gives me courage.
matt // March 2, 2008 at 7:56 pm |
I guess it depends what you feel is important for carrying you through a marriage/relationship successfully over many years. It is love/family/religion that will carry the two of you through?
Sometimes, in fact quite often all three won’t work together.
How your brainwashing strategy works.
Baikong Mamid // March 3, 2008 at 4:25 pm |
yeah, I agree with you matt. I do hope strategy/ies work/s. I think it will. I know my family more than anyone else. I don’t want to lose either one of the three you mentioned. It is fundamental to life worth.
Rolloti // March 25, 2008 at 11:39 am |
Interesting text.., dude
Baikong // March 25, 2008 at 5:40 pm |
Thanks Rolloti. Its interesting and a real challenge for me.
Letishya // June 24, 2009 at 10:48 am |
Salam Bai!
I actully believe in “Love Marriage.” Hehehe..
This what i read about love vs marriage: (medyo funny!) pero true naman..
Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.
Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.
Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.
Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.
Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.
Love is a romantic drive.
Marriage is arrive on tops curvy tarmac .
Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.
Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.
Tv has no place in love.
Marriage is a fight for remote control.
Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is “Don’t you think you’ve had enough!”.
Conclusion: “Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener!”
Agree?!